Researchers reveal that one of the biggest challenges for families is losing a loved one. Whether the loss is recent or it occurred a decade ago, this time of year often highlights absences and brings intense feelings of grief, loneliness and emptiness. You may even feel guilty if you find yourself having a good time.
Innocent gestures may also spur feelings of sorrow. For instance, receiving a holiday card addressed to your late loved one from a well-meaning friend who doesn’t know the circumstances may cause your grief to resurface. On the other hand, it can also be stressful when family and friends purposely don’t mention your loved one’s name to avoid upsetting you.
These feelings are all normal, but to help you get through these tough times, talk about how you would like to handle the situation with someone you trust. That person can then communicate your wishes to others. If you want to do something to honor your loved one, there are different ways you can pay tribute. Choose whatever feels right. Consider the following ideas:
- Place the person’s picture in a place of prominence at home.
- Light a memorial candle.
- Make a photo album of previous holidays together to focus on positive memories.
- Set aside a time so that everyone who wants to can share a memory or a funny story about the deceased.
- Toast to your loved one.
- Go to church or synagogue.
- Volunteer to help those in need.
Remember that not everyone grieves in the same way. There is no accepted norm. You may cry at the drop of a hat, while someone else is more stoic. Some people may grieve for weeks, and others mourn for years. Understand that the holidays won’t be the same as they used to be, but recognize that the “new normal” can be fulfilling in other ways.